http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giOP1o7Mre4

sometimes i wonder what the point of all this is.  
they say im ill.   i still question them but then really i question much these days.
i try and focus on the positives but at THIS moment that all seems a joke. being barraged with comments from my invisible tormentors takes its toll.   each time i enter the tunnel of madness i leave behind pieces of myself.
truth is, im not being positive.    and im tired of people telling me the same things over and over again.     this battle is killing me.   i am dying and its the loneliest fucking fight.     one that people are tiring of.  after all, how many times do you  try and help the same person.?   we cant all be saved.   im so damn tired.    i feel let down.   i feel so deeply sad i wonder if i will ever see happiness again.   i wonder if the me that was has already died.   the best thing that can happen now is that i go quietly in my sleep and happier things await me.    i wont die today.   or even next week.   but i wish i would.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAmPLkcXluY